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Welcome back to “Sports Without Boundaries,” where we cover sports news with the same respect a cat gives a closed door.
This just in: the Bengals didn’t just beat the Colts; they whooped ’em. And not to be outdone, the Cowboys gave the Eagles a whooping of their own. Because who needs a close game when you can have a blowout?
Over in the land of yawns, the Vikings and Raiders managed to score a grand total of 3 points. We’re still waiting for confirmation that this was, in fact, a football game and not a nap contest.
Monday Night Football is serving up Packers vs Giants and Titans vs Dolphins. Get ready for double the fun, or double the disappointment, depending on who you’re rooting for.
Shohei Ohtani just struck a deal with the Dodgers for a cool $700 million. Because when you’re good at baseball, why not aim for a salary that rivals small countries’ GDPs?
College basketball is in full swing with scores coming in hot. Spoiler: some teams won, some teams lost, and life goes on.
In local rivalry news, Xavier left the Bearcats shocked in the Crosstown Shootout. Because nothing says “friendly rivalry” like crushing your neighbor’s dreams.
The NFL finally announces the results of the investigation into the Bengals and Joe Burrow’s injury. Because what’s football without a little off-field drama?
Tiger Woods and Nike have reportedly called it quits after 27 years. End of an era, or just time for Tiger to find a new swoosh?
And in the underdog story of the year, the UC dodgeball club is the best in the country. Take that, traditional sports!
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#VikingsRaidersLowScore #MondayNightFootball
#OhtaniDodgersDeal #CollegeBasketballScores
#CrosstownShootout #NFLBengalsInvestigation
#TigerWoodsNikeSplit #UCDodgeball
